Xucquillton is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unthinking swallow.

Xucquillton created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucquillton, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Xucquillton, it will come to you in dreams.

Xucquillton's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Xucquillton's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never mix melons with ash.