Fenwodmab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, irritating crab.

Fenwodmab created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenwodmab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fenwodmab, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fenwodmab's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Fenwodmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.