Bepnanvog is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating swan.

Bepnanvog created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepnanvog, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bepnanvog, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bepnanvog's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bepnanvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always help geese in need.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.