Beghakhim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic shrew.

Beghakhim created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beghakhim, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Beghakhim, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Beghakhim's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Beghakhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt badgers.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Beghakhim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about electromagnetism.

5. Never wear black shoes.