Rakjipmif is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, generous hummingbird.

Rakjipmif created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakjipmif, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rakjipmif, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rakjipmif's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Rakjipmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

2. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

4. Do not speak of ultrasonics near sacred fires.

5. Never fashion tools from clay.