Kaptiktip is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, selfish dragon.

Kaptiktip created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kaptiktip, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kaptiktip, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kaptiktip's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Kaptiktip's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

3. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

4. Do not keep six rats in a large pit.

5. Always take life seriously.