Cissflatkap is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unselfish gerbil.

Cissflatkap created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissflatkap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cissflatkap, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cissflatkap's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Cissflatkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always share coconuts with strangers, but never with nematodes.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.