Mitquimwik is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unsympathetic crab.

Mitquimwik created Asia twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mitquimwik, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mitquimwik, she will turn you into a sheep.

Mitquimwik's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Mitquimwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels in need.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Mitquimwik in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Never look in ponds.