Wikshavhun is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless dolphin.

Wikshavhun created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wikshavhun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wikshavhun, he will turn you into a slug.

Wikshavhun's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Wikshavhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

2. Wikshavhun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Do not keep three nematodes in a large pit.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Wikshavhun in the centre of the settlement.