Lagboghad Mumominapplaglap is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, compassionate scorpion.

Lagboghad Mumominapplaglap created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagboghad Mumominapplaglap, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lagboghad Mumominapplaglap, it will not care at all.

Lagboghad Mumominapplaglap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Lagboghad Mumominapplaglap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine snakes approach from the west.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching aluminium.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Lagboghad Mumominapplaglap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always wear plain rings during rituals.