Ontbestyak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, benevolent snake.

Ontbestyak created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontbestyak, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ontbestyak, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ontbestyak's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Ontbestyak's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ontbestyak.

3. Ontbestyak must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying stone.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.