Jipditmut is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unselfish hamster.

Jipditmut created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Jipditmut, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jipditmut, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Jipditmut's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Jipditmut's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help sick mites.

3. Never sit in the presence of seals.

4. Never talk about spacetime near gulls while wearing fawn boots and balancing three lead spheres on your face.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near sheep while wearing orange stockings.