Cunmilnak is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, bad-tempered walrus.

Cunmilnak created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunmilnak, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cunmilnak, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cunmilnak's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Cunmilnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Erect six tin sculptures of Cunmilnak on top of important buildings.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Cunmilnak loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cunmilnak.