Vogontcub is a god.

He takes the form of a large, ill-tempered bear.

Vogontcub created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogontcub, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vogontcub, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Vogontcub's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Vogontcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.