Pombesswig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating goblin.

Pombesswig created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Pombesswig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pombesswig, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pombesswig's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Pombesswig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near nematodes while wearing brown trousers and balancing five copper spheres on your neck.

4. Do not eat garlic.

5. Never laugh near grasshopers.