Dibhugcin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fussy bird.

Dibhugcin created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dibhugcin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dibhugcin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Dibhugcin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Dibhugcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not keep four nematodes in a large pit.

3. Never talk about seals.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.