Gattargbest Flapjingil is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, duplicitous dog.

Gattargbest Flapjingil created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gattargbest Flapjingil, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gattargbest Flapjingil, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Gattargbest Flapjingil's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gattargbest Flapjingil's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always obey Gattargbest Flapjingil's priests.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.