Gofhimart is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, grumpy hare.

Gofhimart created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gofhimart, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gofhimart, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gofhimart's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gofhimart's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries on holy days.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Never gather five great tits in one place.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always wear white.