Femrapyik is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, narcissistic grasshopper.

Femrapyik created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femrapyik, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Femrapyik, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Femrapyik's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Femrapyik's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

2. Never eat peas.

3. Put Femrapyik first in all things.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat bark.