Sakzoglarp is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unfair squid.

Sakzoglarp created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sakzoglarp, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sakzoglarp, he will laugh at you.

Sakzoglarp's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Sakzoglarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Sakzoglarp on top of all buildings.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.