Sawfenbep is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, omniscient bear.

Sawfenbep created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Sawfenbep, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sawfenbep, she will manifest in front of you.

Sawfenbep's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Sawfenbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Sawfenbep must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Hide from magenta porpoises for they are unholy.

5. Hide if seven badgers approach from the east.