Vigcubzakbanjatlidbetbun is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, stupid raccoon.

Vigcubzakbanjatlidbetbun created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigcubzakbanjatlidbetbun, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vigcubzakbanjatlidbetbun, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Vigcubzakbanjatlidbetbun's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Vigcubzakbanjatlidbetbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near squirrels while wearing violet jumpers.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Never write about galaxies.