Gadcedgil is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unjust jaguar.

Gadcedgil created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Gadcedgil, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gadcedgil, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gadcedgil's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Gadcedgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. You must never eat peanuts.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Never hop in summer.

5. Never talk about pigs.