Tonkcussfud is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, grumpy slug.

Tonkcussfud created gold nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkcussfud, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tonkcussfud, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Tonkcussfud's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tonkcussfud's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Tonkcussfud in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not hurt seals.

5. Do not travel during autumn.