Dogappbed is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, all-powerful dolphin.

Dogappbed created the Large Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogappbed, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dogappbed, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dogappbed's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Dogappbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Do not speak about parsnips.

5. Never eat figs.