Padfumcitlist is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless cat.

Padfumcitlist created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Padfumcitlist, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Padfumcitlist, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Padfumcitlist's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Padfumcitlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix oranges with oil.

2. Never eat bread on days of mourning.

3. Padfumcitlist loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.