Gilfodkip Mitlisttarg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful beaver.

Gilfodkip Mitlisttarg created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilfodkip Mitlisttarg, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gilfodkip Mitlisttarg, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gilfodkip Mitlisttarg's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gilfodkip Mitlisttarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat doves with great respect.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. You must never eat rice.

4. Never laugh in the presence of mice.

5. Gilfodkip Mitlisttarg must be the most important thing in your life.