Tandossquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sage raccoon.

Tandossquaf created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tandossquaf, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tandossquaf, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tandossquaf's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tandossquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Never cross forests at dawn.