Tonqueegbonklin is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, clever hyena.

Tonqueegbonklin created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonqueegbonklin, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tonqueegbonklin, she will turn you into a rat.

Tonqueegbonklin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Tonqueegbonklin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with envy.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

3. Retreat if eight porpoises approach from the south.

4. Do not eat garlic.

5. Never allow tortoises to witness sacred rites.