Apptunfemfubyarpflagzogsan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, capable zebra.

Apptunfemfubyarpflagzogsan created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Apptunfemfubyarpflagzogsan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Apptunfemfubyarpflagzogsan, he will send you a sign.

Apptunfemfubyarpflagzogsan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Apptunfemfubyarpflagzogsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always look after injured monkeys.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about special relativity near bats while wearing cyan scarves.

5. Never go into green rooms.