Dumsugzim Sabbunjap is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, flying raven.

Dumsugzim Sabbunjap created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumsugzim Sabbunjap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dumsugzim Sabbunjap, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dumsugzim Sabbunjap's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dumsugzim Sabbunjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not record signs concerning black holes.

3. Always obey Dumsugzim Sabbunjap's priests.

4. Never feed lots of corn to swans while wearing red ear rings.

5. Do not bounce in public.