Vilbafhon Janfundub is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, stupid ferret.

Vilbafhon Janfundub created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilbafhon Janfundub, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vilbafhon Janfundub, he will think nothing of it.

Vilbafhon Janfundub's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Vilbafhon Janfundub's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

5. Never talk about shrews.