Gessflyquart is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast hedgehog.

Gessflyquart created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessflyquart, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gessflyquart, he will be very sad.

Gessflyquart's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gessflyquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

2. Never curse while facing west.

3. Never mix pineapples with oil.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Never gather three goats in one place.