Gumhigtaf Tomjinquat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unselfish badger.

Gumhigtaf Tomjinquat created the Sun eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumhigtaf Tomjinquat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gumhigtaf Tomjinquat, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gumhigtaf Tomjinquat's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Gumhigtaf Tomjinquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about mice.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Never gather three birds in one place.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.