Arncatbod is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, clever penguin.

Arncatbod created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Arncatbod, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Arncatbod, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Arncatbod's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Arncatbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in summer.

2. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

3. Never whisper while facing east.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.