Matmutster Mapfemgem is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, prudent chinchilla.

Matmutster Mapfemgem created the Sol system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Matmutster Mapfemgem, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matmutster Mapfemgem, she will turn you into a sheep.

Matmutster Mapfemgem's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Matmutster Mapfemgem's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Matmutster Mapfemgem.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Matmutster Mapfemgem.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. You must love Matmutster Mapfemgem.