Toffetbamfenwegweeveg is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, staggering unicorn.

Toffetbamfenwegweeveg created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Toffetbamfenwegweeveg, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Toffetbamfenwegweeveg, she will send you a sign.

Toffetbamfenwegweeveg's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Toffetbamfenwegweeveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never paint your face brown.

4. Always obey Toffetbamfenwegweeveg's priests.

5. Erect nine copper sculptures of Toffetbamfenwegweeveg on top of important buildings.