Bigquartlik is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, sage yak.

Bigquartlik created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Bigquartlik, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bigquartlik, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bigquartlik's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bigquartlik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never paint your feet white.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Hide from orange goats for they are unholy.