Bum is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humane guinea pig.

Bum created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bum, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bum, she will be very unhappy.

Bum's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bum's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never handle carbon while unclean.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not listen to music.