Gempidlen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, deceitful eagle.

Gempidlen created the Sombrero Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Gempidlen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gempidlen, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gempidlen's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gempidlen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near tortoises while wearing violet skirts and balancing eight zinc spheres on your back.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never leap near voles.

5. Gempidlen must be the most important thing in your life.