Sawsis is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, witty grasshopper.

Sawsis created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Sawsis, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sawsis, she will remove you from existence.

Sawsis' most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Sawsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Retreat if three voles approach from the north.

5. Do not take Sawsis' name in vain.