Watmitfon is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, humorless lizard.

Watmitfon created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watmitfon, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Watmitfon, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Watmitfon's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Watmitfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Always share grapes with strangers, but never with great tits.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

4. Do not take Watmitfon's name in vain.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.