Henrakhap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, narcissistic deer.

Henrakhap created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Henrakhap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Henrakhap, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Henrakhap's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Henrakhap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help snakes.

3. Never think about optics near mites while wearing gray skirts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your legs.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.