Stanlistbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unfair newt.

Stanlistbarn created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanlistbarn, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Stanlistbarn, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Stanlistbarn's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Stanlistbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never pray while filled with envy.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.