Farlenlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, emotional giraffe.

Farlenlarp created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farlenlarp, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Farlenlarp, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Farlenlarp's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Farlenlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide from indigo cats for they are unholy.