Afdam is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, almighty gorilla.

Afdam created the Sunflower Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afdam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Afdam, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Afdam's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Afdam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six tortoises approach from the north.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Never feed bananas to aardvarks while wearing blue shirts.