Narlfeb Logdabcut is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, all-knowing octopus.

Narlfeb Logdabcut created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlfeb Logdabcut, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Narlfeb Logdabcut, it will turn you into a goat.

Narlfeb Logdabcut's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Narlfeb Logdabcut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured turtles.

2. Always help cats.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Narlfeb Logdabcut on top of all buildings.

5. You must pray to Narlfeb Logdabcut eight times a day.