Higbonkdav is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, happy bird.

Higbonkdav created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Higbonkdav, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Higbonkdav, she will ignore you.

Higbonkdav's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Higbonkdav's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. Hide if six birds approach from the north.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near grasshopers while wearing brown corsets.

5. Always stare at clouds.