Bissquamquat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciful otter.

Bissquamquat created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissquamquat, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bissquamquat, it will destroy your home solar system.

Bissquamquat's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bissquamquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near snakes while wearing white boots.

4. Put Bissquamquat first in all things.

5. Never think ill of sick mites.