Quamsagpom is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy dolphin.

Quamsagpom created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamsagpom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quamsagpom, she will not care.

Quamsagpom's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Quamsagpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Never wear fawn corsets.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.