Timzogpomhab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful jackal.

Timzogpomhab created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timzogpomhab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Timzogpomhab, it will turn you into a tree.

Timzogpomhab's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Timzogpomhab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never mention capybaras.