Nurlloptof Cumstafvag is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, omnipotent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nurlloptof Cumstafvag created the Large Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlloptof Cumstafvag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurlloptof Cumstafvag, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nurlloptof Cumstafvag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Nurlloptof Cumstafvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare rice during summer.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Nurlloptof Cumstafvag in the centre of the settlement.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.