Kipshavyam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous fish.

Kipshavyam created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kipshavyam, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kipshavyam, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kipshavyam's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Kipshavyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must love Kipshavyam.