Kikpag Hogtaftam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable ant.

Kikpag Hogtaftam created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Kikpag Hogtaftam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikpag Hogtaftam, it will torture you forever.

Kikpag Hogtaftam's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Kikpag Hogtaftam's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never approach forests carrying wood.

4. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

5. Do not record secrets concerning galaxies.