Vanflanlist is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, amazing bear.

Vanflanlist created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanflanlist, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vanflanlist, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vanflanlist's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Vanflanlist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

2. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

3. Do not fashion tools from lead.

4. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near voles while wearing fawn kilts and balancing seven iron spheres on your neck.