Sawvandum is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, prudent gnu.

Sawvandum created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawvandum, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sawvandum, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sawvandum's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sawvandum's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never cross crossroads at midday.