Zanvadvabyarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful human.

Zanvadvabyarp created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanvadvabyarp, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zanvadvabyarp, it will turn you into a sheep.

Zanvadvabyarp's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Zanvadvabyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always help dogs in need.

5. Never talk about spacetime near foxes while wearing brown dresses and balancing four platinum spheres on your back.